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Words of the Great by aalie


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Submitted on
June 4, 2012
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Take heed and witness,
Devastation and annihilation,
Of our darkest dreams drowning in sickness.
You know it isn't just a chaotic commotion,
When desires are constructs of diabolical devotion.

But you will suffer as one,
Caught in a twisted trap all alone,
With your soul set in stone.
Watch as you burn your heart,
And listen as you tear your flesh apart!

Take heed and witness,
Suffering and damning,
In our ethereal eyes echoing in blackness.
You know it isn't just a manic mourning,
When dreams are martyrs of passive pleading.

But you will suffer as one,
Caught in a twisted trap all alone,
With your soul set in stone,
Taste that acid in your throat,
And listen as you pluck your veins out!

Are you bleeding?
Are you concealing,
All the furies you are feeling?
Is it me or is it you without breath,
When all about us is the void we call death?
Inspired by listening to Slipknot. I think this is the 4th or 5th poem/song inspired by Slipknot.

Basically the theme is death. But the point I'm trying to convey is that even though death is all around us, we must deal with death by ourselves.
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:iconyoshiwrites:
yoshiWrites Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2012
A bit choppy in terms of flow but i guess i just like things with a rythum

this line confuses me, is it suppose to be contradicting? "Of our darkest dreams drowning in sickness."
unless there is a hope of salvation i presume which would mean that the person is a 'vehicle' and the impulses of dreams is the gas propelling the character to 'drive' off a Cliff

but seeing that my theory is unlikely maybe the desire must bear some 'pathological psychological' manifestation to the point where his own volition are quite his...but some 'desire' hi-jacking the character as a vessel, a thing easily exploited for its self serving gratification...then again i dunno

i'm no grammar whiz so i couldn't really check for that so i merely opted to critique the concept instead
kai y
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:iconnemox7:
NemoX7 Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2012   Writer
Interesting theory.
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:iconyoshiwrites:
yoshiWrites Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2012
i suppose
whats your take?
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:iconnemox7:
NemoX7 Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2012   Writer
Death is death. We cannot escape it. No matter what we do. Even with new breakthroughs in medical science; we are still mortal. So we'll still perish. Death can come in a multiple of forms: suicide, accidental death (as in getting hit by a bus), wounded (gunshot), and so on. It can strike anytime. And even when it does come naturally, we will still die alone, there is no one there to actually hold your hand as you pass away. Ok yes, there may be someone there physically holding your hand, but no one in spirit (I am an atheist, so you may not agree with that part if you believe in a deity of sorts).
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:iconyoshiwrites:
yoshiWrites Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2012
it's your opinion after-all lol
it doesn't matter if i agree or disagree with you on the matter your beliefs are your own until something happens to change it that's my take

but keep up the writing though
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:iconmeanderingdreams:
meanderingDreams Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2012  Student General Artist
So deep! Really does tell the reader that death is always there and that it's something that you cannot run away from. So awesome! :D
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:iconnemox7:
NemoX7 Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2012   Writer
Thanks. I didn't know how this was going when I first wrote it. But then I came up with the theory that the first and third verses would be about external death, whilst the second and fourth, fifth verses would be about internal death. Glad you liked it. :)
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:iconmeanderingdreams:
meanderingDreams Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2012  Student General Artist
No problem, it's really enlightening. :D
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:iconinspectork1412:
inspectork1412 Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This is quite sobering. It serves as a good reality check to bring the reader into realization that death is a battle that you truly fight alone, regardless of who is by your side. Well written, I quite enjoyed that.
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:iconnemox7:
NemoX7 Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2012   Writer
Thanks, glad it had that effect. Subject of death as a theme I find has been used so much now it could be consider one of the biggest cliches, besides from the theme of love. So with this I tried something slightly different.
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