Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
×

:iconnemox7: More from NemoX7


More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
March 26, 2012
File Size
637 bytes
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
517 (1 today)
Favourites
23 (who?)
Comments
4

License

Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
×
To say goodbye,
It's not the hardest word.
My honesty is all but broken,
And I look away with eyes so blue,
I cannot say with these tears I cry.

To say sorry,
It's not the hardest word.
My ignorance only leaves you shattered,
And I know in my heart so black,
I should apologise but I'd rather fly.

To say no,
It's not the hardest word.
My addiction drives you insane,
And I feel that my ears bleed so red,
As I struggle to answer your one question: why?
Wrote this last week, haven't had the time of late to write much or submit anything.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconmichel-le-fou:
Good rhyme pattern,I have seen so many that used rhymed couplets like children's nursery stuff and I have critiqued only a few. You and I share a skill at blank or slant rhyme. Glad to see that.
About the scheme, it was definitely original and well-constructed. Your tone is rather sarcastic though, especially when you stipulate that you would prefer to leave rather than to surrender; but who knows? Maybe many people are that way nowadays?
You did one more thing that i liked: you looked at the three words that may really be hard to say. I often hear that Sorry seems so hard to say. Very interesting material. Congratulations and thank you for writing a change.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
4 out of 4 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

Please sign up or login to post a critique.

:iconsaphiquex13:
SaphiqueX13 Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
This certainly caught my eye, it's very original :) It has excellent flow and has great emotion. I really love it.
Reply
:icontamiea:
tamiea Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Nice . Very sad too
Reply
:iconvegetabelle:
Vegetabelle Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2012  Student General Artist
I absolutely love this. This is probably the best thing you've written in a few days. The rhyme and rhythm don't sound forced at all, and the overall syntax is just great! ^_^ Great topic. It really feels like your pulling from experience, and real emotion here. It feels like your showing us yourself.
Reply
:iconhaakon95:
haakon95 Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2012
naice!!!!
Reply
Add a Comment: