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Literature
Goodbye Kiss
You want me to stay, but it can't be.
Don't you see what I see?
I'm so sorry. I really love you.
That doesn't reflect on what I'll do.
Problems have become too great.
I just can't deal as of late.
You know it will be goodbye.
I can't stop, though you try.
Here is where the chips land.
I wish you could understand.
It doesn't matter what you say.
There isn't any other way.
I'm sorry this is how it is.
Please give me a goodbye kiss.
Literature
Love Again
I wonder if I'll love again.
I was so in love with you.
Love doesn't come easy.
It's not something I do.
I never loved my mom.
I never loved my dad.
There was never any love,
In any relationship I had.
I'm not alone in this.
There are other's like me.
I met a man who didn't love,
His wife or girl of three.
And so I'll find a man,
Who makes me smile.
I may be looking,
For a little while.
Happiness doesn't mean love.
My heart won't be his.
I don't just fall in love.
That's just the way it is.
Literature
Obsession
You are my obsession.
Source of my depression.
One that I crave.
Love that is depraved.
I still hold on to.
I would die for you.
Even if you're not here.
My mind just won't clear.
Only one I want.
Continually haunt.
Mentally I attack.
I'd still take you back.
Glad you disappeared.
Return I feared.
Walk through my door.
Want you even more.
Wonder if I'll heal.
Was this even real?
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Came up with this romantic tinged with a dark theme while having a coffee in Starbucks. Inspired by the song 'Broken' by Seether ft. Amy Lee.
Comments7
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This critique is on behalf of <img class="avatar" src="a.deviantart.net/avatars/w/r/w…" alt="" title="Writers-At-Heart" />
I just have to say that this is very well thought out and written for something "written over coffee". The imagery is striking, as well as the syntax and diction that you used to make it. It adds to the poem overall and shows the obvious feeling of heart brokenness. The general theme of this poem is common, but the more specified issue is a bit more difficult to portray, though I find no real doubt on this piece. Despite that, in the beginning the rhythm seemed a bit shaky to me, though towards the second stanza the rhythm seemed to come. Just threw me off a bit, perhaps it was the wording? Either way, this was something I'm sure many people can relate to in one way or another. Very good at expressing this in words!
Good job!