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Literature Text

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Came up with this romantic tinged with a dark theme while having a coffee in Starbucks. Inspired by the song 'Broken' by Seether ft. Amy Lee.
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Craytato's avatar
:star::star::star::star: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Impact

This critique is on behalf of <img class="avatar" src="a.deviantart.net/avatars/w/r/w…" alt=":iconwriters-at-heart:" title="Writers-At-Heart" />
I just have to say that this is very well thought out and written for something "written over coffee". The imagery is striking, as well as the syntax and diction that you used to make it. It adds to the poem overall and shows the obvious feeling of heart brokenness. The general theme of this poem is common, but the more specified issue is a bit more difficult to portray, though I find no real doubt on this piece. Despite that, in the beginning the rhythm seemed a bit shaky to me, though towards the second stanza the rhythm seemed to come. Just threw me off a bit, perhaps it was the wording? Either way, this was something I'm sure many people can relate to in one way or another. Very good at expressing this in words!

Good job!