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December 29, 2012
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:iconnemox7:
Took me longer to write this than my last one. My aim in this was mainly to describe a story loosely without reusing words a second time. I believe I may write a sequel in the future.
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:iconkikumizu:
Rarely do I enjoy story poetry. When I do, I read it completely. I like the way you built the relationship and the torture.
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:iconhanachi-shitsukki:
~Hanachi-Shitsukki Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I absolutely love the repetitive structure of this poem, tho I must say it is kinda long, and that might make it a bit boring for some readers. I think the story is extremely interesting, but that a sequel might break the ole' tale feeling a bit. Definitely inspiring! ♥
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:iconadeliseeclair:

I like the contrast between the two figures, both are very different yet it is with such difference that they come together.
A beautiful piece indeed :)
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:iconoriole-of-silver:
Mood: Affection ~Oriole-of-Silver Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
this is lovely!
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:iconaxlazu:
~Axlazu Dec 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Absolutely loved it, however in stanza four; you rhyme grasp with grasp...kind of stretches the word a little thin but that's just picking at little things.

All in all, completely wonderful read; nicely done.
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:iconnemox7:
~NemoX7 Dec 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Grasp? Hmm, simple error, first rhyming word was meant to be gasp. I'll change it soon as I'm able. Thanks btw.
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:iconunusedemotion:
~unusedEmotion Dec 29, 2012  Student Writer
:)
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