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Took me nearly 2 hours to write this. This must be one of my longest poems ever written by me that is not in multiple parts. I really wanted to try and write a ghost poem with a twist and I believe I succeeded in my attempt. There's quite a lot that goes on in the narrative. It's a bit like having a poem within a poem at times especially when the stranger is speaking.

This actually started off a simple rhyming past-time for a bit of fun to pass the time away. I could have written this is a free-verse poem, but I felt it suited being a more traditional fixed form poem instead.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2013-10-30
:icontessriane:
Tessriane Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Holy cow!
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:iconlauras45:
LauraS45 Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2014
This is a magnificent poem. I love your use of imagery, it just captures you into the poem in a haunting way that makes you feel the story, like the emotions put into it. Lovely job.:)
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:icontinalouiseuk:
TinaLouiseUk Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
wow...what an epic read! A chilling tale, such vivid imagery. Thoroughly enjoyed :) x
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:iconnemox7:
NemoX7 Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2014   Writer
Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed this complex endeavour as much I spent writing it. :) x
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:icontinalouiseuk:
TinaLouiseUk Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I usually get put off when a read is too long, however it grips from the get go so was an easy read :) x
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:iconnicole-nyx:
Nicole-Nyx Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2013
Well, congratulations on the Daily Deviation. It is truly reminiscent of traditional folklore with a very personalised edge to it, especially in regards to the rhyme scheme and of course, the elevated descriptions. At first impression, I though that it would be something along the lines of "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening" by Robert Frost. Of course, I was wrong...I have come to interpret the female character as something along the lines of a succubus?

For a fairly straightforward story line, it does have a great deal of complexity and sophistication, as is typical of your work. The diction and imagery are simply fabulous. Is literature, by any chance, part of your profession?
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:iconfrenchskinhead:
FrenchSkinhead Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
First of all I've gotta say wow! No wonder you got a DD on this buddy. You are seriously a poetry prophet! Like I've told you before, the imagery you use in your poems are seriously mind-blowing. As I was reading this, I could basically see a movie of this rolling in my head. It's almost like I was there!! You know, you could seriously write a book and it would be a best-seller!
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:iconnemox7:
NemoX7 Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2013   Writer
Yep, that's exactly how I see it as a movie. Some parts do get vague in a few poems, 
but with this it was all vivid and pitch perfect in my mind. I keep thinking about writing 
a book. I probably will since I have a few ideas of what I want to write. Still I want to 
make sure I'm not writing up a plot that is too cliched and plus such a venture means
I need to find a sense of peace before I can commit to it. And thank you. The DD meant
a lot to me, still look at it like it's unreal.
Reply
:iconfrenchskinhead:
FrenchSkinhead Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I know how you feel, I've been trying to write a book for eternity but I always seem to get into roadblocks but you have an amazing gift in writing and I hope you pursue that!
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:iconcatgal15:
CatGal15 Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Very beautiful and sad. I think you are the best poet of 2013.
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:iconnemox7:
NemoX7 Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2013   Writer
Oh why thank you. Best poet? I'm honoured, though I still got another two months until 2013 ends. You definitely sure you'd say the same once 2014 kicks in?
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:iconcatgal15:
CatGal15 Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Absolutely!
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:iconpancake-chan2974:
Pancake-chan2974 Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2013
:iconmnrthumbsupplz: Clap 
Instant
+favlove 
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:iconnemox7:
NemoX7 Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2013   Writer
Thank you very much. Glad you enjoyed this. :)
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:iconpancake-chan2974:
Pancake-chan2974 Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2013
Of course, it is wonderful!
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:iconheatherhigurasshi:
heatherhigurasshi Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2013
a poem inside a poem.... its poemception!!! you know kinda like inception... oh well i tried XD  i love the poem!!! congrats on the dd lol
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:iconnemox7:
NemoX7 Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2013   Writer
Poemception... I like that. A great portmanteau of poem and inception that accurately describes my poem so simply. Give yourself a pat on the back for thinking that up. Thank you, I'm glad you loved my poem and I appreciate your congratulations too XD
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:iconheatherhigurasshi:
heatherhigurasshi Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2013
your welcome XD and i just randomly thought of it. im glad you liked it ^.^ lol 
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:iconturtlechap:
Turtlechap Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This time was well utilized! Great job! :D
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:iconnemox7:
NemoX7 Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2013   Writer
Yeah, I'm amazed I managed to get a dark edged poem out so close to Halloween. Thank you. :D
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:icondog1010:
dog1010 Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013
amazing poem!! best one i read yet
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:iconnemox7:
NemoX7 Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013   Writer
Thank you very much. You humble me with your words. :)
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:iconclonewars1162:
clonewars1162 Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
this is really good. i`ve read a lot of poems but this one is by far one of the best ones i have read. 
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:iconnemox7:
NemoX7 Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013   Writer
Oh why thank you. Any reason why you think this is one of the best ones you've read. Just me being curious. :)
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:iconclonewars1162:
clonewars1162 Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
well. 1 the writing is really good. seen some that just annoyed me because of that. 2 love the story it`s in my view really good. and the way it all came together at the end. love it.  but there is so many things i love about it. can`t really just name one. but i`ve read some poems before this that all i could really say or do after it was this .............. pretty much. but still yours is by far one of the best ones i`ve read. :)
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:iconnemox7:
NemoX7 Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013   Writer
Hmm, indeed I've seen a few works (not just those on dA) that have been good, but get too convoluted under too much pretentiousness. Usually I rarely look at the majority of lit on dA since many make me cringe. However, it's all done to the reader at the end of the day. Regardless as a writer I don't write to please one set audience, my aim from the start is to write for myself. If people like what I write than that's good and if they don't then that's good too. I'm humbled that you believe mine to be one of the best. It really inspires me to continue writing. 
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:iconclonewars1162:
clonewars1162 Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yea. i understand what you mean. i use to read a lot of poems on DA. but honestly not very many of them could really keep me reading. i lose interest really fast depending on what it is. like watching a tv show. i never really watch TV for the reason that theres not really much interesting on it. but your story was really good. it made me want to keep reading to see what happens. it`s the kind of story i can read and not get board of. and you really should continue writing. would love to read more of you`re poems. :)
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:iconnemox7:
NemoX7 Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013   Writer
I've got load mores, another 947 more. I write and write purely because a) TV programmes are so monotonous, they're only a select few I'll sit down to watch, b) I no longer have a games console to occupy my mind, so I rely on my imagination to conjure up things and c) it's astounding what my mind can come up with. :) 
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:iconclonewars1162:
clonewars1162 Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Awesome. and i would most likely do the same with drawing. :)
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:iconshadowdancer12191993:
Shadowdancer12191993 Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
By the light of Saidar and the cold glow of Saidin, this is a work of beauty and incredible talent. Very well done, you have a new friend.
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:iconnemox7:
NemoX7 Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013   Writer
Saidar? Saidin? I must investigate further these, you've unintentionally piqued my interest. Why thank you very much. I'm happy that you enjoyed my poem. Especially since I'm self-taught so I really appreciate your comment. 
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:iconshadowdancer12191993:
Shadowdancer12191993 Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You deserve every word my friend, and I hope to see more taleweaving from one with your talents.
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:iconnemox7:
NemoX7 Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013   Writer
If you've checked out my profile you'll probably have noticed I've written quite a lot of poems. This is just one of many I've written in a short time. I do have a few tales I want to tell, a couple may appear as prose pieces. Though I prefer more to write poetry due to how spontaneous they are. This was one of many poems I started off from a 2 second thought and ran with on a stream of literary consciousness. I'm very pleased with how this turned out.
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:iconshadowdancer12191993:
Shadowdancer12191993 Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
As you should be my friend, it is splendid. It is a very wonderful piece of art. I like writing poems and tales myself, I am just shy about putting them up. I recently posted a rant as a journal entry because the lack of equality betwixt human beings and other creatures upset me, however that is the extent of words I have posted on this site. I may post some of my work, I am not sure yet.
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:iconnemox7:
NemoX7 Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013   Writer
I see no reason why you shouldn't take a risk and post some of your literary work. You may actually be surprised by the responses you may get. Hopefully these responses will be constructive and positive. Personally I submit works regardless of audience expectation. It's a bit like chocolate, some people prefer the bitter dark variation, or the creamy white sort, or the classic - milk chocolate. Everyone likes different types of literature and art. 
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:iconshadowdancer12191993:
Shadowdancer12191993 Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You are too true, and I adore the reference to chocolate. :) Mayhap I will take your advice, you are quite kind.
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:iconnemox7:
NemoX7 Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013   Writer
No worries. Be aware that some people may offer criticism devoid of helping you as a writer and more along the lines of an opinion verging on an insult. I've had a few back in the past when I was getting to grips with writing. My philosophy is to basically ignore the negative remarks since replying usually leads to a pointless argument. Write essentially what you enjoy and will lead you to return to it at a later date purely as a reader rather than the writer. So many I've written in the past I've come back to and thought "wow, did I actually come up with that?"
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(1 Reply)
:iconthe-original-rper:
The-Original-RPer Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I didn't find it really all that engaging. The words are flowery but too flowery for my taste--not saying there's anything wrong with it, I know it's a style, but it felt like, in some ways, this dragged a bit. There was more words and lines then might have been needed (again, I know the older style of verse thrived on this sort of thing). I will say the actual core story is good--not 'epic' but good. Not entirely predictable, with jarring imagery to suit the tone. This obviously shows the amount of work and thought that was put into it, even if it's not my cup of tea.
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:iconfrencifry:
Frencifry Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013  Student Writer
OHMYGOSH. I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU. This is amazing that you got such an honor for your poem. No wonder you were incredibly giddy about it. ^-^ 

But still. FREAKING 140 LINES IN TWO HOURS, WHAT THE HECK. That's outstandingly impressive. The longest poem I've ever written was 40-something lines, and even then I thought that was a lot. 

I really liked this one a lot. I enjoyed the storytelling aspect of the piece; and I felt as though I myself was getting sucked in along with the main character. Also, I llove ghost/horror-like twists on things, so I really do like this piece. ^-^ Congrats again on the Daily Deviation feature! You deserve it. 

See. I already thought yout were awesome wwith your writing and stuff, and now this happens.YOU'RE SO AMAZING. <3 
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:iconnemox7:
NemoX7 Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013   Writer
140 lines is a breeze. Wait until I decide to actually do something twice that amount. Although I'll only do it if I feel the narrative goes that way in a future endeavour. Actually to be much more precise it's 140 lines in 90 minutes if you deduct the 30 minutes spent during that period for brief pauses of thought.

This DD sure ticks off on my "Things to accomplish on dA" list. When I was writing it I thought it was pretty good. Since I had wanted to write a poem that would sit well with the classics, be simple and complex at the same time, entertain, and be sheer luck the dual nature of the piece works a treat. It can be hard to write two narratives and effectively meld them together so that the two don't feel forcibly stitched together.

I've already got ideas for new poems, even a short story. I came up with a horror story that basically scared the hell out of me. Still I'm rather proud of this piece, especially since it was so near Halloween I wrote the thing. Yeah, I'll definitely read this again in the future. :D
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:iconayeaye12:
AyeAye12 Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013  Student Writer
You got a DD?! ABOUT DAMN TIME XD

Great piece though. 
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:iconnemox7:
NemoX7 Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013   Writer
Thank you. Yeah, it did take me a long time. There's probably lots of others in my repertoire that constitute recognition, but at least I managed to accomplish getting one before I reach my target goal.
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:icondaghrgenzeen:
Daghrgenzeen Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:wow: Mesmerising, I love how the tone switches from what I'd call a poetic feel (the stranger's turns) to a more prose-like feel (the turns of 'I'), and the two last verses... well, I find them to be the most powerful of all.
Congrats on the well-deserved DD! :rose:
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:iconnemox7:
NemoX7 Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013   Writer
Thank you :blackrose: It's amazing what people can (or in some cases) can't get out of this. As I think I mentioned before somewhere, this has a lot going on in various levels. It was my aim to capture the style of the classic era of poetry writing and mixing the poetic feel with the prose helped quite a bit. I do at times feel that I could have done more for the end, but actually adding an extra 2 or 3 stanzas to set that up would be wrong since the finale's event actually occurred in the 3rd or 4th stanza if you know what words to look for. :D
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:icondaghrgenzeen:
Daghrgenzeen Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You are most welcome. :rose: :D
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:iconaquagalaxy:
AquaGalaxy Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013
congratulations on getting a DD! >w<
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:iconnemox7:
NemoX7 Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013   Writer
Thank you very much :D
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:iconmizzmint:
mizzmint Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Congratulations on having your piece featured as one of today's DD's! :glomp:
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:iconnemox7:
NemoX7 Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013   Writer
Thank you very much. It was quite a pleasant surprise. Makes me proud of my progression as a writer. This DD is a fantastic recognition. :)
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:iconclockspur:
Clockspur Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
WOAH. DEEP.
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