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Literature
Alastor TF/AP/MC
Dylan was in his house and he saw on the youtube the hazbin hotel pilot, and then an hole on his down and he has fall to the hell and he don't even know where is he "where am i? what is this place?" he asked "hello? is everyone here? damn i don't even know whe- wait what is this?" when he saw long thing who even like a microphone when he touched and his body has hurted so bad and getting change. his skin getting little darked, as his height grew and making him round tall, his, black glove formed on his hand and his jacket gets grew longer and gets into a red coat with inside a red dress shirt, a bowtie formed onto his shirt, his pants gets darked and became dark red dress pants,his shoes gets became into black dress shoes, as his hair became red and some ears-like hair and black horns grew on his head as his age gets progressed to 30s-40s years old, his teeth get sharpe and became yellow as his eyes became red. "OH GOD!!" yelled Dylan as he looks shocked when he saw his new demon
Literature
Fate: The Book of Humiliation Target Gilgamesh
Shirou wasn’t much of a scholar when it came to magic. He didn’t tend to study but when he went to clean up the shed where he originally summoned his Saber, he found a really old book with mysterious writing that Shirou didn’t really understand. His first instinct was to put the book back down in the box that he found it in but something was compelling him to keep hold of said book. Instead of putting the book away, he carried it back into his room where he thoroughly explored it. It still didn’t make much sense to him but he didn’t want to put it down. For some reason he carried the book everywhere. A few days after finding the book, he was walking down the street clearly lost in thought when he ran into someone he rather not have seen at all. It almost seemed like he hit solid muscle and fell to the ground, knocking the book across the ground. “Watch where you are going, mongrel,” the cocky voice of Gilgamesh reached down to the distracted redhead. Shirou’s eyes trailed up to the
Literature
Iris-crested wormhole
for endless melted eons I've drifted through ether sap green and lavender nebulas altairs of amber plasma indigo pulsing densities and for the endless melted eons all I could perceive was the cold void blackness in between the hues not knowing what birthed me yet never home 'till on one bleak melted eon an iris-crested wormhole swallowed me whole and suddenly all the timespace just ceased to be for in the most alien desolate nucleus hypnotically splitting into shiny multidimensions I have found myself I have finally came home.
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Melancholic poem about death. All comments are welcome thank you.
Comments7
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Overall
Vision Originality Technique Impactfirst off my friend i feel that some of the best poets wouldnt deserve a perfect rating, therefore i have given a critique score i hope is fair enough to you. i really enjoyed this. i say you deserve a high rating on
Vision: because when read aloud with emotion i could feel the intense feeling of despair and hurt. i feel hearing out loud a poem makes it greater to understand.
originality: although i hear no one coming to mind wile reading this, you speak like a person i dont know rather than one i would feel instantly identifying himself with certain words.
technique: its there. the repetition in the stanzas are done logically well. and your wording all makes good sense and gives emotion of being absolute on one goal and disparity, even claustrophobia
impact: personally i know these feelings quite well. and to me as a person i have to say the impact was not shallow but still there. just not too deep also because like i said the mood is swayed in a singular direction of despair and despair only.